We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
