Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
