3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
