chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize