dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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