Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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