in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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