Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize