I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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