Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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