I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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