So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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