whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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