You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
