i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
