OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
