It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
