i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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