it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
