i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
