How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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