you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
