i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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