Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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