If i come over, it means nothing
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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