just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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