i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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