I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
