so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
