Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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