I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
