dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
