The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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