I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
