You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
