I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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