Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
