You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
