i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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