cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would fuck him just for his dog
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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