i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize