There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
