dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
