Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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