I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
