thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My bed smells like the plague
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
