she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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