i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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