"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's never too late to be topless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
