I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
