You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
