That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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