Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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