you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
