She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
