yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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