i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
