hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
