My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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