i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize