and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were trust falling into bushes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize