But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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