morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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