I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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